永藤項目:想念兒子的點滴
來源:永藤項目  作者:趙晴  時間:2019-05-06  點擊量:   
【字體:

親愛的軒軒寶貝:

第一次以這種方式和你說話,說實話媽媽不夠優秀,也不夠獨立,以前的媽媽有外公外婆保護著,直到結婚生下了你,媽媽欣喜的同時也好像還沒準備好當媽媽,總感覺自己還是個孩子,對于你,媽媽不算是一個稱職的媽媽,但媽媽一直盡自己最大的努力精心照顧你,自從你2歲多點媽媽就開始上班了,離開你的日子很難熬,閑暇時媽媽無時無刻的都在想念你,盡管爺爺奶奶幾乎每天都發一些你的小視頻,每次媽媽都是反復看好幾遍,笑過之后又是滿滿的失落感,軒軒媽媽我多么希望爸爸媽媽能一直陪著你長大,但生活又怎么會都盡如人意,所以我們都要學會接受生活所給予我們的一切并盡力去把它改變成你想要的樣子。

如今你已經上幼兒園了,有了自己好朋友,看著每天你在幼兒園里開開心心的玩耍媽媽感到特別的高興,或許你已經習慣了和媽媽分開的日子,但每次聽奶奶說爸爸媽媽要回來你無論多晚都要等媽媽,記得有一次,媽媽回家已經12點了,你已經睡著了,夜里4點多黑燈瞎火的,但你朦朧中你聽見媽媽一句“寶貝,被子蓋好”你立馬清醒了,站起來對媽媽說:“媽媽你看我長得高不高,連蹦帶跳著說我媽媽回來嘍”那一刻媽媽覺得自己是全世界最幸福的媽媽,那一刻也讓媽媽對你感到了深深的虧欠,每次媽媽短暫的陪伴最終都是抱著你在火車站趁你不注意偷偷的“消失”了,你總是哭著反復著問著奶奶:“奶奶媽媽呢,奶奶我媽媽呢”東張西望的在人群中尋找著媽媽的背影,軒軒媽媽知道那一刻,媽媽突然消失,你望著茫茫人海就是找不到媽媽,你一定很傷心,對不起寶貝,你這么小就體驗到了生活的殘忍。

每一次離開你,媽媽在火車上哭的稀里嘩啦,但每次弱小的媽媽好像并不能改變什么,直到上次,媽媽又要走的時候,媽媽覺得你長大了,媽媽不能在偷偷摸摸的走了,媽媽給你講了好多不是你這個年紀應該懂得道理,但你像一個小大人對媽媽說:“媽媽我知道了,你就放心的上班吧,我現在上學了先陪著爺爺奶奶,放假了你記得來接我啊”一時間媽媽覺得你好像長大了,可是臨上車時你反悔了摟著媽媽的脖子哭著說“媽媽我想和你在一起,帶上我行不行”奶奶就生硬的把你抱走了,軒軒這一次媽媽在火車上也流淚了,但這一次媽媽深深的感受到了人世間最沒有用的就是淚水,人世間最大的悲哀就是無力改變這種親人的離別,因為那一句“媽媽我想和你在一起”這句話成為媽媽工作的動力,自律改變生活,爸爸還一直納悶為什么媽媽這次回來無論是工作、生活甚至學習、健身為什么這么有毅力堅持早起,以前賴床的毛病也沒有了,以前好像永遠不可能堅持的東西也堅持下來了,因為媽媽正一點一點的改變,媽媽希望變成你想要的樣子,也把生活變成媽媽想要的樣子,軒軒寶貝,媽媽希望你慢一點,再慢一點長大,給媽媽多一點時間去改變,希望媽媽的改變不會太晚,“一家三口,團團員,我陪你長大,你陪我變老”這就是媽媽正在努力賦予生活的模樣。媽媽想你一定會為媽媽加油的對吧?

最后媽媽希望你每天都快快樂樂、健健康康的,讓我們共同堅強勇敢樂觀的面對生活!


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